Parenting is not something you master. I have to keep that in mind because something happens almost every day to make me wonder if I’m doing more harm than good. Being Zara’s momma keeps me on my toes at all times. She is deeply hilarious, analytical and very sensitive. She is charismatic and quick on her feet with the comebacks.
The other day, the hubby and I had to go to the bank to take care of a few things. We had to bring both of the kids so of course we came prepared with snacks and IPADS. A few months ago, I found a Bible app that teaches Bible stories and also has games. Zara and I have read tons of the bible stories together and played the games so I thought this was the safest bet to keep her occupied. We are all in the booth. Everyone is fine and then all of a sudden we hear this wail come from my child. Even the bank attendant jumped because it was such a soul shattering sound!
I immediately grab Zara thinking maybe she bumped her head or something .
She could barely get her words out. I grabbed her and immediately started checking her. I don’t even know why I did that. Natural instinct, maybe? Hubby grabs the IPAD and there is Jesus just-a-hangin’ on the cross with bruises across his body.
Zara screamed, “Why did they do that to Jesus!?!”
My heart just dropped.
I glanced at the app and honestly, it wasn’t graphic at all but to a 4.5-year-old, it was too much. I took her outside of the bank and we talked. She actually knew the story of The Resurrection but that’s the first time she had seen anything close to a visual for it.
Y’all. That baby was devastated. She wanted to go home. She was done. To be honest, so was I. I felt terrible because maybe had I been paying attention, I would have skipped it or at the very least I would have warned her. Maybe it wouldn’t have been such a shock to her system if I had watched it with her? I explained to her that Jesus knew that some people didn’t believe in him and he had to go through that experience because he loved us so much. That’s as far as I wanted to take it. It’s not my goal to make my children religious zealots.
I just want them to have a foundation. I want them to know that there is something out there bigger than us and to be able to decide for themselves.
In our home, we listen to equal parts gospel, Disney, soul music and ratchet rap. Raising the next Tammy Faye Baker is not our endgame.
I honestly felt like I let her down.
It’s what I assume she will feel when she finds out Santa isn’t real. Although, I don’t really know if she believes in Santa at all anyway. All day that poor baby kept telling me she kept seeing the picture in her head. I’m not going to lie, I gave her extra attention that day. LOL! We talked about it a little more but I tried to deflect as often as I could. I tried to make it as cheery as being hung on a cross and being left for dead can be.
I was terrified that she would have a nightmare that night but she didn’t. She woke up like nothing happened the next morning. She grabbed her IPAD during breakfast and I could tell she was looking for the app. She asked, “Mom, what happened to the bible stories, I want to play a game.”
Baby, mommy deleted that app. What we are NOT gonna do is get blindsided again!
Maybe I will download it again when she is 6 or 7 years old. Maybe by then, I’ll be better prepared. Because that took me OUT! That little bible story graphic was what I assume is the equivalent to me watching The Passion of Christ – which I refuse to watch.
Has that ever happened to you? Has your kid ever come across something that rocked their world? How did you handle it? P.S. Please don’t debate me about religious beliefs. It’s not important if you believe what I believe. The point is that the bible can be scary to a 4-year-old kid. Or a 42-year-old kid for that matter.